I try not to talk about TTC too much on here. Which makes no sense at all seeing as the whole reason I started this blog was to document TTC and having a baby, yada yada yada. But really I thought TTC would just be a couple of months. But really in December my husband and I said, let’s do this thing and here I am in August still wondering when it’s going to happen. I hate to say anything at all because there are sooo many people that have been trying for years or can’t have kids at all.
Saturday is day 28 of my cycle and the day AF is due to arrive. I try to be aware what my body is doing at the end of each cycle….sore boobs? Cramping? Tired? But that’s just pointless because those can be symptoms of AF or pregnancy. and I do have cramps right now but are they good cramps or bad cramps? I feel like i've already lost the battle this month.
So here I am several days away from my answer and I’m scared. I hate going through this every month, and I hate talking to my friends about it because I don’t want them to get annoyed listening to me. and I hate more than anything when people say things like: why would you want kids, or having kids is so easy all you have to do is have sex on this day or when people ask when we’re going to have kids.….why don’t people think before they start talking?
I never wanted to be bitter about this process, and I don’t think I am, I just think some things are starting to annoy me and that’s bothersome to me.
At the beginning of October I go to the gyno for my yearly appointment and if I’m not pregnant by then I’ll discuss it with her. But I’m still young and we haven’t been trying a year yet so most likely they won’t really be able to do much for me. or at least that’s what I’ve heard.
And I hate more than anything telling anyone when AF is due to arrive, only to have them ask me if she did arrive? And I don’t know why. I open with a lot of my friends about it, I think I just feel like I’m failing.
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