It’s been a week

It’s been a week since Ben and I found out that our second IUI didn’t work.  Where are we now emotionally?  What are our next steps?

Those are great questions that I’m not sure I have answers to. 

Emotionally I think we’re doing better, although actually talking about everything is still hard to do.  We have the money to do IVF, but we’re not certain yet we’re ready to spend it.  Ben needs to continue on his path to better health and then we’ll reevaluate everything. 

Ben still isn’t really talking about it but he doesn’t seem as angry as he was last week, and he’s still basically not drinking at all and has continued to eat healthier.  Our number one need right now is for his sperm that aren’t so stellar, to become spectacular.  That may be wishful thinking, but it’s worth it to try and cut these things out of his diet to see if they help.

I’m surprisingly doing OK.  I want a baby though and find myself wanting to spend all of our money on fertility treatments right.this.second. even though I know I should be patient.  I have sad moments where I cry, but I’ve started and stopped my period and that means this cycle is well on its way.  Starting your period is a hard thing to face and since that’s over I’m not looking everyday at my failure.

So where does this leave us?  we don’t know.  We aren’t going to be doing any sort of treatments for the next couple of cycles. We need a break, and I am forever hopeful that I’ll miraculously become pregnant.  A girl can hope, right?!

Until then we’re planning small vacation to get away.  Get away from the stress of our daily lives and to relax in the sun with some friends.