We’ve decided to tell Ben’s parents

When we decided to move forward with IVF Ben and I knew there was going to be a point that we needed to tell his parents, we’ve been debating telling them for some time now.  He works for his dad, and thus far we’ve been able to keep it to ourselves, but with IVF there are going to be more doctors’ appointments and I’m going to need him to bring me to and from the hospital for my egg retrieval and I’ll need his emotional support more than ever.

This means Ben will miss work.  and we can scoot around the truth every once in a while but there is going to be a solid month or more where we won’t be able to.

 Saturday night we’re going to have dinner with his parents to relieve ourselves of this burden of holding such an emotional secret.  I know his mom will be supportive, but I’m unsure of his dad.  I love his dad but he’s old school and he tends to make jokes and easily place blame on people.  When my sister in law had 2 miscarriages I had to listen to him talk about the fact that it was her age, that was the reason for the miscarriages. He was ruthless, and it hurt me to hear him talk like that.  I defended her and I prayed my sister in law never heard the way he was talking.  He used to be a dairy farmer, he called her an dry cow.  That might sound insensitive, and it is, but he really is a good man…he just doesn’t respond well to stuff like this.  If we didn’t have to share this information because of Ben’s work than I wouldn’t tell his dad at all. 

I’m scared he won’t be able to keep a secret. I’m scared he’ll be insensitive.  I’m scared that all the blame will be placed on me and he’ll tell people it’s my fault when in reality our issue is with Ben’s sperm. But I would never offer that information up because I don’t think Ben would deal with it very well.  I would take the wrath/joking so that he could avoid the pain.