18 weeks 1 day

A Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to you all!! It appears that for Christmas my baby bump arrived! Haha. Maybe it’s just lasagna, but I think it’s more than food!  Sorry I’m late with this, but yesterday I chose to spend my day lounging with the family and eating yummy food!

 

 

 

·         How far along are you? 18 weeks 1 day

·         Total weight gain: nothing at my 16 week appt. and I haven’t weighed myself since

·         How big is baby? About the size of a mango, 6” long and .5 pounds

·         Maternity Clothes? Sometimes. it’s becoming more necessary and my shirts are getting shorter so I foresee a trip to Target in the near future

·         Stretch Marks? Nothing yet

·         Sleep? Um not as good this past week, but I have a cold. I ordered myself a humidifier for our bedroom and I’m hoping that will help with the cold and constant congestion.

·         Best moment this week? The belly becoming visible

·         Movement? Yep! It’s happening more and more often and it feels like the baby is rolling around in there too

·         Food Cravings? Nothing specific. Still loving food but I’m not all that hungry.

·         Food aversions? Nothing.

·         Labor Signs? Nothing

·         Belly Button in or out? IN!!

·         What I miss? Still nothing!

·         What I’m looking forward to?  A very calm and relaxing New Years. In years past I’ve always felt like I HAD to do something, but this year I have an excuse to take it easy.

·         Milestone? No big milestones this week. We’re almost ½ way there though!

Counseling update

So I have like five minutes this morning to share with you how counseling went last night.

It was a success!

Ben opened up and talked to her about things he hadn’t ever told me were bothering him. 

We both liked the counselor and  I’m just happy that Ben was talking.  When we left he told me he would definitely go back, and that was a totally unprompted comment!

So we have a date, every other Wednesday:)

Finding someone that’s right for us

I’ve decided that if Ben and I want to have a healthy marriage we need to go to counseling. I looked into counselors several weeks ago and just never pulled the trigger, but we have to.

Ben and I had a very bad weekend full of fighting, crying, him drinking. I basically think he’s miserable and is trying to self-destruct. Drink so his sperm doesn’t get better, make me angry so I’ll want to leave him….honestly. This is some tough shit we’re going through and we’ve made it almost 2 years without needing outside mental support, but we need it now.

So I’m searching for someone that understands infertility. They have to in order to be able to understand the stress this is putting on our marriage.

I’ve talked to Ben about this and he rolled his eyes at me (see good communication) and I basically told him that if he wanted to see our marriage last then he needed to do this with me.  I feel like he’s really let me down and maybe by discussing this in front of a counselor he’ll see how hurt I am by his actions. I need his support and I feel like he’s being selfish right now and not giving me what I need.

 :::Sigh:::

 So this could be me sometime next week. (note that isn’t me even though that person has brown curly hair:J)

 

 

Also something weird. When I went to find the photo you see above this photo of Tyra Banks also came up. don’t know why…

 

all the other photos were like this