Why would a pregnant lady be angry

One of my friends started a blog when she was pregnant with her son. It was her first trimester and she was awake in the middle of the night just angry. I never understood this because you should be happy you’re pregnant!!

I get the anger now.

My heart feels like it’s going to explode some days with anger towards the stupidest stuff. and I wouldn’t call myself an angry person.  Let me give you a few examples.

I woke up at 4:30 the other morning. I was exhausted but couldn’t fall back asleep.  So I decided to eat.  I went into the kitchen to find that my sister had left one of my nice Hinkel knives dirty, in water in the sink.  I was livid. I was tempted to go wake her up right then and there to clean that fucking knife. I left her a nasty note letting her know that her disrespect for my belongings enraged me. and I told her that if she couldn’t respect my things or clean up after herself she couldn’t use my things. She is lucky I didn’t wake her up to clean that damn knife.

1)      Respect my shit. That’s an expensive knife. Bitch can’t even afford to live in her own place, she certainly can’t afford to replace that very expensive knife set that I received as a wedding gift.

2)      I hate dirty dishes in the sink.  I hate anything in the sink, including the sponge. It sits in a nice little holder on the side of the sink

3)      Why couldn’t you use a butter knife instead of a super sharp nice knife to cut your piece of cheese….yes I know it was cheese there was a bunch left on the knife.

 

MIL put our dogs in the bottom of the barn and now they have fleas.  She knows that there are fleas in there, and now my dogs are covered and so is my house. Thank you, thank you very much. I thoroughly enjoyed spending my night vacuuming the house, doing laundry, changing bed linens, and giving my dogs baths. I needed to be sleeping. Can we just keep them out of the bottom of the barn please.  I have carpet in my house and fleas suck. Kthanks.

 

The fragrance counter at the mall----  I recently needed to return a bra to the mall. I purchased 2 new expensive bras 2 days before I found out I was pregnant. Thank goodness that I had only worn 1 of the bras. Since finding out I was pregnant my boobs have doubled in size. Seriously. Anyways, my point. I returned the bra and was walking through Macy’s on my way back out the door and the lady in the men’s fragrance department asked me if I wanted a squirt of some cologne.  Bitch, what makes you think I want to smell like a men’s fragrance?  For real. that’s a great way to ensure I never buy anything from your department.

 That’s it for now.

Just rambling on

I never wanted my blog to exclusively follow my infertility.  When I started writing it was admittedly about wanting to have a baby and document pregnancy, but as I didn’t get pregnant it became more.  It became a place to talk about my life, home, cooking, dogs...and somehow this past summer when IVF failed I feel like it turned really gray, which truly represented my mood.

I recognize that the past couple weeks have been a lot about my getting pregnant, but I don’t want anyone to think for a second that I’ve forgotten about the journey I’ve been on for the past 22 months. It was hard. It broke my heart, it killed a piece of me.

But I’m alive and happy, and I know I would be even if I wasn’t pregnant. I was dealing with the failed IVF cycle, and what that meant for my family.

So all my friends still struggling with IF, I think about you daily. I think about the struggle daily.  I thank whatever is out there that I experienced what I went through because it made me am who I am today.  I hated every second of it, but it is one of life’s hard curveballs that I had to deal with I guess. I’M STILL ANGRY. I still find myself getting upset when I hear other people are pregnant or got pregnant quickly. Why did I have this struggle?  And so don’t think I’m not thinking about you.

I clearly still have things I need to discuss with my counselor.

Now that I’m pregnant this blog isn’t only going to be about my pregnancy.  Just like infertility did, it will obviously include that aspect of my life, but I do plan on picking back up on writing about cooking, decorating, dogs…

Early morning infomercials

Yesterday morning my husband woke me up at 4:45.  Yes, 4:45….because he couldn’t sleep, wasn’t feeling well (cry me a river), and because he was just in general not sleeping well.  So I listened while he talked because he doesn’t often talk about his feelings and was opening up about IVF.  5:45 rolls around and I’m wide awake and he’s sleeping like a baby, snoring next to me.  So I turned on the TV and was kind of listening.  I’m not really one to watch commercials so when they come on I flip to another channel.  Every freekin channel was showing this infomercial for PosTVac.  Please go check out this website.  Because this it better than Viagra and it only takes 4 minutes to pump up your penis so you’re ready for sex.  Yes, you read that right, this infomercial is for a penis pump.

image from their website

 

The other infomercial that was on repeat was for Trojan Vibrations.  Do I need to explain? I think I do.  I was curious to know if it was just a vibrating cock ring, but it sounds like more than that.  Heck it has several different vibration options.  My shower head doesn’t have that many options!!  not that I’ve used my shower head for anything scandalous. Get your heads out of the gutter.

Peeps, seriously this is what’s on TV at 5:30 in the morning?  aren’t small children up at this time?  And I wasn’t watching some weird channel, I was watching Law & Order on like TBS or something.